---> ! <---

I can't help but think that if my mother hadn't married my father, things might have been so different. In the unity of both my parents' genes, I have thought for a while that something went horrible wrong in my creation. That, despite being intelligent and compassionate people, by mixing their genes, they not only had a prodigy child but also an emotional and psychological disaster. Maybe two. People think I got it all; of late, I have considered myself very lucky that my intellect is such that i was able to achieve great things, even compared to many who worked much harder than myself. But now I am starting to believe quite the contrary. That perhaps things could have been so very different if those two gene pools hadn't met - that perhaps if I wasn't that 99.60 child that I may have, in fact, been worlds happier. Right now it hurts so very, very much. I do not know where the stress is coming from. I have resigned to the fact that LIFE IS WHAT IT IS and there is literally no way to defy the fact that our existene has no meaning whatsoever, and the only way to cope is to distract ourselves from the fact that it is just and empty void of time. All we can do is try to fill that void with things that make life seem okay, but, in reality, we will never succeed because in a void, things just fall through.