Do you ever just want to start your life all over again? To forget the past, to forget everything that you have been, everything you have done, and just start afresh?
I do.
Right now, I want more than anything to escape the grind. Not just because I am entering what is possibly one of the most stressful experiences of my life, but because I simply hate being who I am and want to start over. I have been upset for so long, hurt for so long, struggling for so long I feel that the only way any of this will ever change is if I simply forget everything that has ever happened to me and everything I have ever been.
No more perceptions of me being perfect. No more negative thoughts. No more netball. No more attention-seeking antics. No more over-eating. No more emptiness. No more conformity. No more excuses. No more me.
I have not been myself for a long time - I don't know who I am because I have stopped trying to be this person that I hate. Yet in the meantime, I do not like this person that I have become any more than that. I just want to leave. All I want to do is leave everything and everyone and simply be alone somewhere for a while where I can figure out who I am and what the hell I am doing here. To read about the world and life. To discover nature. To find myself.
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