I once knew someone who, when asked what their biggest motivation was, replied that it came from having people not believe in them - in short, to be told that they couldn't do something. After all, what greater incentive is there than to prove someone wrong? I think as humans - often stubborn and self-righteous creatures, as I know I am - we derive some sort of pleasure in knowing that we are right, proving other people wrong, and more than anything, achieving what was once believed to be impossible. I think breaking boundaries has to be one of the most fundamental bases of advancement and breakthroughs; being innovative and courageous enough to not just test limits, but step outside and beyond them. These limits are set for us by other people when they tell us that we are not capable of things, yet for the greatest people I have met in my life so far, these only set a benchmark which must be achieved and surpassed.
I personally recall two exemplary examples of this:
Dan Ryan dreamed to become one of the best male netballers that the game has ever seen. Despite making his first Victorian team around the age of 14, he was told that he was too short and would never make a national team as a goaler. With a desire to follow a dream and prove the selectors wrong, this netballer went on to captain Australia, never once being played outside the position of goal attack, all the time thinking "Don't tell me what i cant do, let me show you what i can do".
Rufus Black dreamed to study at Oxford University, only to be told in Year 9 that his dyslexia was so bad that he wouldn't even pass his final Year 12 exams. A little over a decade later the only criticism in the Oxford University examiners report on his doctorate was “that there were a few more spellings mistakes than usual”. What did he say? "Don’t let anyone ever tell you you can’t".
These stories provide me with inspiration beyond belief, but as I have considered my own life, I find myself, for the majority of the time, at the opposite end of the spectrum. Highly able, loaded with potential, and burdened with a superfluity of expectation. Whereas these individuals found themselves confronted by external lack of belief, I find myself straining under and overwhelming forcefield of pressure from every direction. Even if no-one says anything, I can feel it. Even if no-one thinks anything, I do. There is no escaping - it is outside me and within me. I have a wealth of people that believe in me, but I am beginning to think that perhaps that is more detrimental than having no one believe in you at all. If there is no belief, all you can do is exceed expectations. If people expect greatness from you, surely you are destined to fall short...
Wow, very well thought out and thought provoking! You are an excellent writer.
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I had many moments in my life where I just needed to prove someone wrong. Whether I was successful or not I tried my hardest to do what I wanted to do, but lately that driving force has seen better days. I don't push myself to the extremity because I know what I am good at and try to develop those skills further without looking at the negatives of what I can't do. I sometimes wish I could do certain things better, look a certain way, but I know that is not where I am at. I want to better myself in the areas that I feel confident in. Sometimes, I suppose, when what I'm good at is challenged, I feel the need to prove someone wrong, but it hasn't helped as of late.
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I can relate to this so much. I went to teacher's college to make something of myself and go there because it was almost an invincible expectation that was laid out for me several years ago. The plan wasn't mine however, and it backfired. Now I am looking for something new and trying to follow my instincts and my judgment without thinking of those expectations people put on me.
I think it is important to hear the expectations that people want for you because it, in a way, helps you see from another perspective what you are capable of and how others view you. I don't think, however, that it should be necessarily followed. Blindly following someone else's advice/knowledge of what they think you should do is not always the best scenario you should follow.
Trust you instincts, trust your judgments and most of all be honest with yourself. If you can follow these three things I feel that you can't fail. The road may be spoken for already, but it doesn't say if you should stop, go ahead, turn left or right. Your direction is key to your success.
Wishing you all the best.
I think my greatest motivation is the feeling that I am meant to do something special. This feeling was not something I always felt but came to me one day while taking a class at University. I have no idea what that "special" is so I'm constantly searching. Hopedully, one day I will find it.
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