To those who care,

I have gotten almost everything I wished for in this past month. I can hardly even dare to complain when everything has just landed on my doorstep. But inside, where no one can see, lay and still lies my one eternal wish that I want more than any of this. I could have lived without a high ATAR or getting into physio.. but without happiness, I don't want to live. I cannot and will not be a good captain if I can't even be positive towards myself. I don't know if my heart is in it anymore, because over the past few years I have felt less and less enjoyment from the sport I once loved with all my heart. What does one do when their biggest passion fails them? There no longer is any passion for anything, nor a desire to live like this. It hurts and has hurt for so very, very long - and although you can hear me, no one can take the pain away..