Did you ever just want to be beautiful? For just one night, one hour, or even one minute, to be absolutely gorgeous and feel like you looked a million dollars? I did. For just one night, I wanted to be beautiful. Of course beauty isn't solely about aesthetics - I am a true believer in the saying 'Beauty isn't skin deep' and genuinely think that personality has a significant influence on one's attractiveness. The only problem right now is that I feel I possess neither - I could not detest myself more: my selfishness, laziness, self-centredness, stupidity, superficiality, lack of consideration, lack of courage, negativity, self-pity, conformity, weakness and finally for being so effing judgemental. And I'm sure I've missed something. In short, neither personality nor looks is on my side.
So for one night I just wanted to be beautiful. Perhaps not even for other people to perceive so, but for myself to. I wanted to be able to love myself for one stupid little night. To look back at photos and say, 'Look, you
are beautiful'.
Just. One. Night.
Was this too much to ask?
Apparently so.
It is invariably saddening to look through new eyes at things upon which you have expended your own powers of adjustment.
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