Untitled.

It will ALWAYS be such a goddamn effort to be happy,
why should I keep on trying?
I give up right here and right now
because it has been too long
I am too tired
I am too hurt
I am too broken,
like the swallow without wings I long to be
free. I cannot lift myself off the ground.
I am not trying hard enough -
I have yet another excuse - I am
exhausted. No reinforcement for my efforts, but instead a large perpetual
circle, round and round and round until
I cannot spin any further.
Give me a lethal dose of the opiate that will take this pain away.
I hate the world... I hate myself.
Where is the you or the we?
Selfish, careless, lost to infinity.
I have failed and it has not even started;
to be born was my biggest failure.
Perhaps the best thing I can do is just to undo the damage
I have done.